Chapter Four: Tales of the Belly Bag

I'm planning on writing a prequel to this book titled Tales of the Belly Bag, but I'm still going to use it as a name for this chapter.

My use of the belly bag easily predates our relationship with the Hollidays. In fact, there were several circumstances when I wore a black belly bag: band trips, trips to the beach, and any time I needed to carry extra tapes for my camcorder.

I didn't consider wearing the bag on a more regular, daily basis until after I met Louie. Louie's belly bag was his response to the question that all guys who own really cool electronic gear must one day ask: How can I safely and comfortably carry my palm pilot, cell phone and wallet?
Although I didn't have this problem, yet, I recognized Louie's problem. It is a problem that all men of the New Millennium face. In “Star Trek,” the problem was solved in the 23rd Century by stitching Velcro strips onto the Starfleet officers' pants. Captain Kirk would sometimes strap on a sandy colored weight belt in anticipation of the need to use a phaser pistol or communicator. Obviously we can't resort to this kind of thing today. It would look too silly, plus Velcro isn't that secured anyhow.

So, we return to the Belly Bag. The Belly Bag was invented in the 20th Century by famous exercise guru Richard Simmons after his viewers complained about injuries sustained while doing knee bends and holding their keys at the same time. Later, tourists began to store their wallets and other values in the belly bags whenever they were touring Europe and Disney World. For example, both my wife and I wore belly bags while we were visiting Florida for our honeymoon.

But my love affair with the belly bag didn't begin until I received one from Louie. This became my belly bag of choice.

What does one carry in a belly bag? That's a good question which shall answer as soon as you stop snickering. Finished yet? No? Okay, then, I'll just try to talk over you.
Back when I was the new owner of the green belly bag I didn't have a lot to put in it because I hadn't purchased my palm pilot yet. I did, however, carry a cell phone so this often went into the very front pocket. In lieu of a palm pilot I began carrying a pen and small notepad. I called these my “low tech” substitute for a palm pilot.

The whole point of wearing a belly bag, however, was to prepare myself for the day when I would own a palm pilot and need somewhere to store it. Logically, it would go in the belly bag.